Friday, October 29, 2010

Monday, October 25, 2010

GIVEAWAY time again!! Over

**Giveaway now over!! Thanks to all who entered! Winner announced by tonight!!**

CONGRATS TO MAMIPDX!!!!! Thanks for enter everyone!! definitely a fun round!!

Welcome to another CSN giveaway!!

Anyone can enter...just be aware of the shipping. I believe most shipping is free as long as you are a US resident.

On with the giveaway....

CSN works hard at promoting their online stores. I have been on the receiving end of some of their wonderful products. Check out their bar stools, so many to choose from. I personally love these:

from here

and here

This time I am not doing a review, I chose a giveaway, so one of you will get to choose...AND you are not limited to bar stools. Check out all their different stores! If you win, you will get $45 to spend at one of their online stores!

SO enter as you many times as you'd like! I'll let you know when I am getting close to shutting the giveaway down, but for now, no stipulations.... enter away!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

the week that followed

Tuesday morning will mark 2 weeks since my grandma went to be with Jesus.

The days that followed her death were some of the hardest I can remember. I walked around in a daze, just trying to get through. I was literally on the verge of tears at every second. I can't even tell you how many times I broke down. Anywhere and everywhere...including the dinner table with the whole family.

I will admit, my fear got the best of me. I started to worry about others. Pleading with the Lord not to take anyone else away. I was trapped in my fear. Somehow the Lord is helping me to release this fear and breathe again.

One day at a time. If you think of it, please continue to pray for my brother-in-law. He is still very sick. He did not return home with my sister after the funeral out here because he was not stable enough to fly. He still continues to seize several times a night and have severe headaches. His uncle also just dropped dead 2 nights ago....there has to be some respite for him...and I am hoping it comes really soon.

on a positive note, I will be posting another CSN giveaway this week!

Thursday, October 21, 2010


It still hurts to look at her pictures

I hated how she was frowning in her casket. She never frowned...and I know she is certainly not frowning in heaven!

I still can't drive to the end of my street (where her house is).

It still doesn't seem like she is gone.

I still don't believe it.

I still keep thinking our bi-weekly dinners are part of my life....waiting for her to call me and ask what I want her to make. :)

I still look with expectation that one day I will see her again in heaven where we will sing and dance before the Lord forever.

Afterall, she taught me to Greek dance!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

if you were to ask me

what yesterday looked like, I would tell you....

black clothes and cool fall weather

my grandmother's wake

my grandmother's funeral

my tears, snot, and whatever makeup I had on all over my dad's suit coat

a white wine toast to my grandmother's life

a cemetery burial in the middle of beautiful fall leaves

a pink carnation placed on her casket

hundreds of people

hugs and laughter, tears and sobbing

my brother having three seizures

my brother-in-law having three seizures

piano and singing from the hymnal as a family


love & support

memories & pictures

more tears

a goodbye a promise to see her in heaven

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

it turned out differently than I thought

When I left the ICU 2 weeks ago with my brother, who was being moved to a regular floor, I said if I was never there again, it would be too soon.

Little did I know.

In that same room, room #7 in the ICU, I would be following the nurse with my grandmother in the bed two weeks later. I spent all day yesterday beside her. Her breathing was labored and she was so irritated, confused and the most miserable I have ever seen a person. She also had hypoxia due to the lack of oxygen she was getting. She kept telling me all day she was dying. The doctors assured her she was not and just needed to get over this hump.

One week ago she fell and broke 5 ribs. She was taken and admitted to the hospital because she had aspirated and had pneumonia. As she was weened off the pain meds, her breathing became more labored and even a 100% oxygen mask was not keeping her stats where they needed to be, thus the need to move her to ICU for the night.

The doctor told my aunt and I we were causing her breathing to be so bad by "micromanaging her". Dear Doctor, if you would give her some pain meds maybe she would not be suffering. Clearly the small dose you gave her is not helping.

Once she was in ICU, (where we thought she was just spending the night and would be moved back to a regular floor in the morning) she started to talk nonsense. Because I have been with two other grandparents during the dying process, I knew this was all too familiar. She was taken for a CT scan and the cardiologist told us she thought my grandma was having a heart attack but her stats were improving. We went to her bedside and she was very ash. We stood around her bed as she sang lullabies in Greek, never opening her eyes again....and then she just stopped breathing and went to be with Jesus. I had just been helping feed her lunch 7 hours before.

If she was going to go, it was for what I had prayed- quickly and peacefully.

It's so hard knowing she was so healthy and walking 2 miles every day just over a week ago. I just look at pictures and can't believe it.

I won't lie, I really wish life would stop hurting because this has been a very long year and I'm tired. So very tired.

I miss you my YiaYia. Thank you for always being at every school play, graduation, and cooking for me every Thursday night. I'm glad you are with Jesus and Papou now. I know how much you missed him. I love you! xoxo

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Want List

I've been spending way too much time online lately just browsing instead of doing school work are a couple things I'm putting on my 'want list'.

I actually need a new pair of good winter boots. I love this and really love the company. Always loved ever shoe I have bought from them.

I have been drooling over Dansko lately and want to spice it up with these. I actually saved up for the last couple months for these and hope to buy them soon. Yes, they are patent!

Some really cute Sam Moon finds:

I think this is just beautiful!

Color theme much?

I LOVE LOVE this Columbia parka, but for someone who hate the cold weather the $270 is slightly excessive! And when I say "slightly excessive" I mean RIDICULOUS!

Love these sweaters from Old Navy

Guess that sums it up for now! :) Please excuse me while I continue browsing do my school work.