Saturday, March 13, 2010

I'd like to think

Last night I sat across from a "newish" friend at dinner. We went out to eat and there were 6 of us in total. My newish friend and I rode together and we stayed so long, the two of us the closed the place. I honestly don't remember the last time I laughed so hard.

We went from 6 to 3 people after about 2 hours due to prior commitments. Once it was down to 3 of us, I literally went from hysterically laughing to tears pouring down my face from sadness. No joke. I have no idea how we went from one topic to another, but we did, and I can't get my mind off of it.

My friend was talking about a horrific tragedy that happened to her family. Horrific. Thankfully in the end it turned out okay, but the event that happened was beyond words. To this day her family and especially her daughter still are affected from the repercussions of what happened.

I had already known the story, but listening to her tell it really affected me.

If I put myself in her shoes, I wonder how I would have handled the situation. When struck with tragedy, would I cling to the Father or would I run in the opposite direction, denying Him.

I'd like to think I would never do the latter.

I'd like to think that.

I'd like to say I would wholeheartedly trust the Lord.

I'd like to say I wouldn't be angry with Him.

I'd like to tell you I would never forsake Him.

I'd like to tell you I would be as faithful to Him as He is to me.

But I can't.

I don't know what I would do. It would be easy for me to sit here and tell you I would trust. That would be easy, but tragedy is not easy. Tragedy is horrific. I think about my friend's story and I want to vomit just picturing it.

I don't know what I would do because I am a sinner.

But I do know one thing.

I have today. I have right now. I have the chance today to make the choice to cling to Him.

Because without Him?

I am nothing.


Momof3inVA said...

That was a great post...I have been tried a few times and I have, so far, trusted in Him.

I do fear something happening to my children, but back right after 9-11, I heard this woman speak about her daughter, who was on the plane that crashed in to the Pentagon. Her words still resonate within me...she said something to this affect "God, I know she was never mine to begin with, she was yours. But, I thank you for allowing me to have her for the time you did and I know she is with you."

It moved me in so many ways and I hope I can have that same feeling if something ever happens to one of my children. However, I hope I never have to face that situation to find out.

Sarah said...

Great stuff. I think a lot about Angie Smith saying, "I think my God is the same as when I walked in here," even when it's something stupid; and, would I think that if it was something huge? Maybe exercising our muscles of faith keeps them strong for the hard stuff. When our friends lost their boy, someone said to them, "God never wastes painful suffering," something else that's stayed with me.

Hilary said...

I've been through some pretty yucky crap dealing with the un-knowns of my hubby's health and I have to say, sometimes it is down.right.hard. to trust Him. But I always tell myself, what is the alternative? Giving up and just withering away? Walking away from my family? Walking away from God? None of those options are really a true "option" in my opinion. So, trust God I will.
But I have to say..I still wonder like you do. Like, what if I go through even MORE traumatic issues...will I trust God? I think this is one of the reasons people can't predict the future...b/c if we knew what hardships we were going to go through we'd lose heart! But, once we are in the midst of them, God gives us the strength we never thought possible.

(By the way, I'm glad you had a good girls' night out! We all need that. I'm going to be a having a much needed girls' night out next week and I can't wait!)